I don’t ask for a lot from people, just competence. This is especially true of retail workers, because I know they hate their jobs and I can respect that: I too have hated every retail job I’ve ever had. So today, when I went to Walmart looking for a chord that would connect my speakers to my laptop, I purposefully did not seek out help from the esteemed employees of the electronic section. Instead, I ventured to find it myself through the poorly laid out “Home Audio” section, which had other speaker cables. Unfortunately, it was not there. And, unfortunately for me, a kid with ear plugs (or “flesh plugs” as wikipedia calls them), who previously was flirting with another Walmart employee by repeatedly hitting her in the ass with a box and doing Carlos Mencia “Dee Dee Dee” thing (I’m not going to point out the irony), noticed me searching. Our conversation went as follows:
Tard Employee: Can I, uh, help you?
Me: Yeah, i guess. I’m looking for a double-male quarter inch speaker cable.
T.E.: :Stares Blankly:
Me: I’m looking for a cable with two headphone jacks, one on each end.
T.E.: What would you want that for?
Me: I want to hook up my speakers to my Laptop
T.E.: Is this it? (he grabs the first thing he can reach in the aisle, it’s a cell-phone charger)
Me: Um, no. I’ll look around myself.
I wasn’t going to sit around while this tardinator (thanks rob) walked aimlessly through the department pulling random things off shelves, because I had shit to do. I found what I was looking for over by the CD players, paid and left.
